Negative self-talk and doubt is something that we can all do without. It creates psychological boundaries and limitations. Grow your self worth with these 7 essential self esteem therapy worksheets.
You may be wondering how does this negative self-talk happen? Striving for perfection or an unachievable standard can play havoc on our inner thoughts. In fact, it can hold us back from dreams and aspirations.
With the introduction of social media, the pressure is more immense today for men and women to have a picture-perfect look and lifestyle. This assumption of achievable perfection can haunt us from the inability to measure up.
The below worksheets will help you begin to cultivate a healthy state of mind. Just remember while it takes 21 days to make a habit it takes 66 days to break one!
What Is Low Self-Esteem?
When you have low-self esteem you can find yourself in a cold dark unstable place internally. Many sufferers of low self-esteem have co-occurring disorders such as depression and or anxiety. These disorders exacerbate low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is having a bad viewpoint on one’s self. Some people may not be aware that they even have a negative viewpoint as negative thoughts may be deeply rooted in childhood. Unable to trust one’s own opinion and relying on others’ viewpoints of them for validity is a volatile foundation ready to crash at any time.
Guindon (2002) asked school counselors to list five characteristics that best describe students with low self-esteem. Over 1000 words were used and the most common are listed below:
- Withdrawn/shy/quiet
- Insecure
- Underachieving
- Negative (attitude)
- Unhappy
- Socially inept
- Angry/hostile
- Unmotivated
- Depressed
- Dependent/follower
How Is Low Self-Esteem Developed?
According to psychology, today low self-esteem can be caused by:
- Unsupportive Parents
- Trauma
- Bullying
- Belief systems
- Comparing one’s self to others
- Social Media
What Are The Characteristics Of A Person With Low Self-Esteem?
People suffering from poor self-esteem are particularly sensitive to criticism. This is due to their negative self-image. This feedback may be met with hostility. People with low self-esteem find the approval of others imperative in the creation of their own self-esteem. The individual may begin to socially withdraw from certain situations and can progress to withdrawal in all areas of life.
It is not uncommon to see people suffering from low self-esteem excessively worrying about their personal problems. This is because they lack confidence in themselves. Confidence is a key component in being able to handle and react to situations in life. The excessive preoccupation is due to the inability to resolve the issue.
#1st ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
Gratitude Journal:
According to the Positive Psychology Progress; A five-minute daily gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent. That is more than a pay increase!
As someone who struggles with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) a gratitude journal is something that has made a big difference in the way, I start my day off. After joining an outpatient center that specializes in MDD after the birth of my second child we had to report how we felt every day and give one highlight of the day before.
This really changed my way of thinking about Gratitude journals. I had always thought that I needed to put big grand gestures in there but hearing the groups highlight of their day and mine really made me appreciate the simple things. It’s the small and simple things that we’re bringing everyone true happiness. Many of the daily highlights were:
- Dinner with loved ones.
- Phone call with a friend.
- Going to the gym with a sibling.
- Spending time with children.
- Activities with friends.
- Getting a pizza and watching a movie.
If you’re wondering how you can start your day with a Gratitude journal and your day has not started I always base my questions and answers on the day before. This puts me in a good mindset and eliminates negative self-talk.
Gratitude Journal V1
A simple gratitude journal would be to simply write down the highlight of your previous day in the morning.
Q: What was the highlight of your previous day or night?
A: Going for a swim in the warm water.
Gratitude Journal V2
The three good things gratitude journal comes from therapistaid.com. I like how this journal has different questions every day and it prompts you to write three positive aspects of your day.
This is not something I would recommend to someone who is suffering from depression as it may be a little overwhelming and you may just want to stick with V1. Below are the questions:
Three Good Things
Day 1
- One good thing that happened to me today…
- Something good that I saw someone do…
- Today I had fun when…
Day 3
- Something I was thankful for today…
- Today I smiled when…
- Something about today I’ll always want to remember…
Day 5
- Something interesting that happened today…
- Someone I was thankful for today…
- Today I had fun when…
Day 2
- Something I accomplished today…
- Something funny that happened today…
- Someone I was thankful for today…
Day 4
- One good thing that happened to me today…
- Today was special because…
- Today I was proud of myself because…
Day 6
- Something about today I’ll always want to remember…
- Something funny that happened today…
- My favorite part of today…
Day 7
- Something I was happy about today…
- Something good I saw someone do today…
- Something I did well today…
Gratitude Journals
Here are four luxe to less gratitude journals that I love:
Gratitude a Day and Night Reflection Journal
The gratitude day and night journal is my favorite. In fact, I have purchased one! I like how it has several positive focuses as well as a mood journal. I don’t practice affirmations as they are too New Age for me but I like to use that section for my Negative Thought I would like to challenge or change for that day.
The 5 Minute Journal
Attitude Of Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide
#2nd ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
Strengths Exploration
Those who know their strengths and use them frequently tend to have more success in several areas. They feel happier, have better self-esteem, and are more likely to accomplish their goals.
In order to utilize your strengths, you need to know what they are!
In this worksheet, you will identify your strengths and ways in which you are already using them. Additionally, you will explore new ways to use your strengths to your advantage.
This second strengths exploration worksheet uses questions to trigger a range of personalized answers. Some of the questions include:
- I am good at playing…
- I like to help with…
- My biggest talent is…
- I feel proud when…
- My favorite skill is…
- People like when I…
#3rd ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
Challenging Negative Thoughts
This is one of my favorite tools! You need to be very honest when challenging your thoughts. Let’s go through an example so that you can get a good idea of how the sheet works!
The Negative Thought
She only married me for my money.
Is there substantial evidence for my thought?
- Mary earns less than me
- She does not like to work
- Mary has expensive taste
Is there evidence contrary to my thought?
- I have three children with Mary
- We have spent years sharing our emotions and bonding
Am I attempting to interpret this situation without all the evidence?
Yes, I will never know what Mary’s reasons are. I only know what she has told me.
What would a friend think about this situation?
That we grew in different directions.
If I look at the situation positively, how is it different?
Mary changed and I stayed the same. We are no longer compatible as a couple.
Will this matter a year from now? How about five years from now?
#4th ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
Daily Self Esteem Scale
How can you get to where you want to go if you don’t know where you are? Measure your self-esteem daily on a scale of 1 – 10 so that you can take notice as to whether your new regime is working.
This worksheet also prompts questions to help you realise your value during the day.
Self-Esteem Journal Worksheet#5th ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
Rewarding yourself with positive self talk.
It is important to watch the way that we talk to ourselves.Change the negative thoughts into positive ideas:
- I am to dumb to learn this: I can break this down into small pieces.
- Nobody likes me: Maybe Ana does not like me but that is not everybody.
- This is boring: I’m not into this but I may get something out of this experience.
- This is too hard. I can’t hit the ball: I can learn this.
- I am a bad speller: I can use spellcheck.
#6th ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
My Qualities
Ensure that you put at least three answers to each of the statements:
- Things I am good at.
- What I like about my appearance.
- I’ve helped others by.
- What I value most is.
- Compliments I have received.
- Challenges I have overcome.
- Things that make me unique.
- Times I’ve made others happy.
#7th ESSENTIAL SELF ESTEEM THERAPY WORKSHEET
Healthy Boundaries
Personal boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. We need to set healthy boundaries in order to care for ourselves.
Basic Rights
- You have the right to say no without feeling guilty.
- You have the right to be treated with respect.
- You have the right to make your needs as important as others.
- You have the right to be accepting of mistakes and failures.
- You have the right to not meet other’s unreasonable expectations of you.
Weak Boundaries
- Sacrifice their personal values, plans or goals to please others
- Allow others to define who they are and make decisions for them
- Expect others to fulfill all their needs
- Feel guilty when they say no
- Hesitate to share their opinions or assert themselves if they are being treated unfairly
- Frequently feel used, threatened, victimized or mistreated by others
Rigid Boundaries
- No one knows the real you
- You don’t open up
- You can’t relate to others
- Alienate others
Setting healthy boundaries
- Know what your limits are: These are intellectual, emotional physical and spiritual boundaries. These boundaries will vary depending on the types of relationships such as friends, work colleagues and strangers.
- Be Assertive: This means ensuring that you keep your boundaries and follow through with them. You can start with small things such as a waitress getting your order wrong.
How Do I Build My Child’s Self-Esteem?
Fortunately, children naturally have high self-esteem. Children suffering from low self-esteem generally are related to physical punishment and withholding of love and affection by parents.
Treating your child with value and keeping a positive group of peers around your child is a good start. Recognizing and helping your child to progress with their natural talents is a great way to build self-esteem.
Teaching your children the value of life and how they are just as important as anyone else is a great way to improve their self-esteem.
What are the signs of low self-esteem in a child?
- Self-criticism and holding them to a higher or even impossible standard
- Feeling as though they’re not as good as other kids
- Focused on the fact that they will fail, over success
- The child lack confidence
- The child doubts they can do things well
At what age does a child develop self-esteem?
Children begin to develop their self-esteem at the early age of three.
Dario Cvencek, a research scientist at the UW’s Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences (I-LABS) says; “We found that as young as 5 years of age self-esteem is established strongly enough to be measured.”
What type of tools do you like to use to improve your self-esteem?
Samuel 16:7 English Standard Version (ESV)7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
If you enjoyed this article you may also like:
How To Heal Shame
Dealing With Anger
The importance of family
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